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So, this week is one of my favorite weeks of the year. I actually really like parent-teacher conference week. I don't know how yours is set up, but we have 4 hours of it after school on Tuesday, and then 12-8 on Thursday. Friday we have off! I was thinking about doing a post on prepping yourself for conferences, but I wanted to write about something a little more near to my heart. (If I had any tips for conferences, it would be these three: 1. Always share something good about a student, no matter who they are. 2. Never accuse parent or student. 3. Smile! Oh, and maybe set some candy on your table. :))
Alright, so, this year I have a student in class who requires some extra help and a lot of my attention. The minute he walked into my room on the first day, many of my students stared, whispered, and then, sadly, avoided making eye contact so maybe he wouldn't sit at their table.
I showed him an open spot and where he could put his stuff, and he sat down. That day, we were doing a partner activity, and before I knew it, he didn't have a partner to work with.
"I guess no one wants to be my partner," he said, just loudly enough that I heard it. I felt like my heart was going to crack in two. I have a lump in my throat just thinking about that comment.
That day, I decided that he was going to feel welcome from here on out, no matter what it took. (I had no clue what it was going to take, but I knew that something had to be done). I called over three of my kindest, most mature students in that class, and told them the situation, within confidentiality rules of course. They knew that this student needed extra help, and I asked them to be his "group."
Here's the big part: how you treat students who are labeled as "outcasts" in your classroom is ultimately how your other students will treat them as well. This student has a lot of outbursts, and at first, everyone would silently, with huge eyes, turn to look at me, thinking I was going to punish him. Normally, these outbursts aren't inappropriate. Sometimes, it's the answer to a question, which only took me a few times of asking him to raise his hand and that issue was solved.
However, usually the outbursts are things that most of us would like to say, but are afraid to. I do an activity early on in the year where I put Latin American celebrities' pictures on the projector, and kids can guess who they are. If they get it right, I'll give them a piece of candy. For one picture, and I truly cannot remember who it was, this student burst out with, "She looks like a discount Shakira." And. I. Lost. It. I was laughing so hard. Soon, even my "too-cool-for-school" kids AND my outburst-y student were laughing along with me.
Now, he regularly comes to class and shares his latest adventures with me, and although I have no clue what most of the street-fighting, Star Wars, and video gaming terms mean, my kids are watching my every reaction to his stories. If I show interest, they show interest. Some of them at this point even come up and ask him about them.
Sometimes, if he's overwhelmed, he has bad days and can't come to class, so he does his work in another room. Every time, my kids ask with genuine concern, "Is ******* coming to class today?" His presence in the classroom is missed on these days, especially his walking around and performing "memory wipes" by waving his hand in front of each student's forehead.
Your students will mimic you in how you treat students they're unsure about. They will, like mine, look at you to see how you react to that student's every comment. If you freak out, they'll freak out. If you roll your eyes, they'll roll their eyes. If you whisper about them, they'll whisper about them. If you laugh with them, listen to them, and treat them like any other student, your other students will (hopefully) do the same.
I am learning that not all classrooms need to be run so strictly that there is no room for movement on the kids' part. We were in a transition period the other day. We had just finished playing Kahoot, which if you allow phones in your class is SO fun and great review. (getkahoot.com) My student lost, then stood up and said, in his joking voice, "MRS. LEHR! IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT THAT I CAN'T SEE THE BOARD." Two of the boys he sits with: "OOOOOOH, shots fired!" Student: "YOU JUST HAD TO SIT ME BACK HERE WITH THESE POOR SAPS!" Me: "OOOOOOH, shots fired!" And we all just started cracking up!
That day, those two boys made a sign to hang on their table that says, "La Mesa de los Pobres Bobos" (Table of the Poor Saps). Every day since then, and I'm sure for the rest of the year, that sign will hang on their table and this. student. LOVES. it.
He's not stuck in a corner where he cannot talk or participate. He's got kids remembering HIS quotes and using them in class. He loves it.
And, now, he always has a partner.