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I decided to write this down originally so that I could share it with Lily when she’s older, or when/if she has her own children she could read her own birth story and find comfort in it. I debated sharing, because childbirth is such a personal experience, but I feel like, at least for me, all I ever read were stories about unmedicated births and I knew that wouldn’t be the path I would take for myself, so I spent a lot of time feeling guilty about it beforehand and feeling like I had to explain why I was choosing to have an epidural. As it turns out, and as I’ll explain later, God had his hand on that entire situation. To my friends who have had unmedicated births, you are amazing! But to my friends who have had medicated births, you are also amazing! I am so glad we live in a time when we get to choose how we have our babies, and that we have so many safe ways of doing so. I decided to share this because a) I want others who choose a medicated birth to not feel guilty about doing so and b) God has been showing me how beautiful birth and motherhood are and has just been teaching me a lot through becoming a mother. I wanted to share my experience so that anyone who is going to have a baby can read it and know that there are so many ways to go about having a baby (with meds, without meds, schedule a C-section, choose to wait for baby to come on his/her own time, etc), and the main thing that God has been teaching me is there should be no judgment in how any mom has her baby. The most important thing is a healthy baby and healthy mama, and I worked with my doctor to choose the path that I felt was right for me. This is our Lil’s birth story!
On the morning of March 2nd, Andrew and I checked into the Birth Care Center at 7:00 am. I had been scheduled for induction, which honestly took me a while to decide if I even wanted to do. As a mom, you question pretty much every decision you make. I knew induction could be controversial, but I trusted my doctor and I was at 40 weeks with no complications. My pregnancy, besides the normal discomforts, was fairly easy. Not having any desire to go beyond 40 weeks (I was miserable, and so was Andrew, probably!) I decided to be induced. My doctor had also mentioned that with me and my siblings all being over 9 pounds, Lily might be big too. I was afraid if I waited too long for her to come on her own, the risk of C-section might be higher. Induction went so well for me that I will choose induction in the future if we have any more kids that haven’t come by their due date! Beyond excited to meet our baby girl, I quickly signed the paperwork they gave me (I honestly don’t even remember what it was for) and we had a short wait in the waiting room until they called us back. Andrew helped me pick up all my luggage (I way overpacked - I should do a post about what I actually used) and we headed back to our room!
After getting my hospital gown on, the nurses started my IV and placed the monitor on my belly. The fast swishing sound of Lily’s heartbeat filled the room. For the next couple of hours we sat and talked as the nurses got my pitocin ready. At 9:00, pitocin was started and I waited for contractions to begin. If I remember right, I was at a 3 then, and hoping for a short labor!
At first, I would see the contractions on the monitor, but I wasn’t feeling anything. “Maybe this won’t be so bad!” I thought (stupidly) to myself. The phone rang, and a nurse answered it, talking briefly to the person on the other end. Hanging up, she looked at me and said, “That was your doctor! She wants you up and walking!”
As soon as I began walking, the contractions started to get strong pretty fast, and moved fairly quickly to just a few minutes apart. Within an hour of starting pitocin, I was having contractions I couldn’t talk through. This may be because I am a baby when it comes to pain (highly likely), or maybe they really were that bad. We’ll never know. My mom, Andrew, and I wandered down the hallway, and the first big contraction hit me. I stopped, grabbing the railing on the wall. Andrew, however (I love that man) kept walking and chatting. The only problem was he had my IV stand. I couldn’t talk to ask him to stop. When the line pulled, he turned around and noticed I had stopped. “What’s wrong? Why did you stop?” he asked. My mom: “She’s having a contraction!” I think it’s hilarious now that I look back on it. He really was amazing at lightening the mood through the whole experience for me, and just being a great encourager.
The contractions started to get stronger, and I was having pretty bad back labor. Honestly I felt like someone had stuck a knife into my lower back and was twisting it around. I became super nauseous and decided, after only about 10-15 minutes of walking, to go back to my room before I threw up in the hallway and some poor soul had to clean it up. :)
I stayed in my room for a few minutes while the nausea subsided, and then decided to go back out and walk again. This time, I felt something strange when I stood up, but I ignored it and walked out into the hallway with Andrew. I didn’t make it ten steps and my water broke in the middle of the hallway! I was honestly super happy it broke on its own, but I was not so happy that I was wearing my favorite slippers when it did happen. Seriously, who brings brand new, comfy slippers to have a baby in? Me, I guess! My angel of a sister offered to take them home and clean them for me! Ha! (Ok, but, seriously, she is a SAINT! She cleaned my bathroom for me while I was at the hospital so it would be clean when I came home and could take a bubble bath!) A doctor came into the hallway and brought me a wheelchair, while some saintly people cleaned up the hallway.
The contractions were now at the point that I definitely could not talk, and I was having trouble breathing through them because I was so nauseous due to the back pain. Poor Andrew would be telling me something and a contraction would hit, and I would put one finger over his mouth to shush him. I asked for my epidural. I knew going in that I would be getting an epidural, and had no desire to try and go without, especially since my doctor recommended an epidural for me because of “how I am built.” I love her for just being honest with me! When I was in physical therapy several years ago for knee issues, my PT mentioned that I was built like a boy. Not exactly a compliment, but I’m guessing that’s what my doctor meant, too. Narrow hips = not a fun drug-free delivery.
I am really glad I asked for the epidural when I did, because it took them a while to set it up and administer it. I had watched several YouTube videos of epidurals (they’re actually hard to find because you’re not allowed to film during them) and I was honestly a little scared, even though I was in so much pain from the contractions. The contractions at this point were just a couple minutes apart, so I knew that I would have one while she was doing the epidural. The hardest part was holding still through it. I honestly did not feel anything but the prick of the needle numbing my back, and in no time at all, it was done. The nurse anesthetist was amazing, because I had seen videos where it took more than five minutes to get the epidural in. From start to finish, I bet it took her two minutes. Maybe less.
After my epidural was in, the contractions gradually faded until the only thing I could feel was a slight spasm at the top of my belly. I react pretty strongly to medication - like, if I take NyQuil, I better have at least 12 hours to sleep. For me, with the epidural, I could feel nothing. I remember especially on my left side, I couldn’t even feel someone touching me (I could still feel pressure on the right).
From that point onward, I talked with my family and ate my small cup of sorbet they gave me as I watched the food channel and drooled over whatever food they were making. I was so hungry! The night before I had eaten a light dinner as they had told me labor can make you sick. I didn’t eat anything for breakfast before going in. Honestly, I don’t recommend that. Next time I will definitely be having at least a muffin or a granola bar - something!
By about 3:00, the resident had come back to check me (I loved her! If she stays in Wichita and you need an OB, her name is Dr. Rhyne. My actual OB is amazing, too, and has just walked with me through a lot the last few years - Dr. Hague. Just my little plug for both of them!). I was at a 10! It’s so funny looking back on it, because I was so calm - I could literally feel nothing! I was so surprised I had progressed that quickly. It was like, “Set down the sorbet, girl, you’re about to have a baby!” The epidural is MAGIC.
They decided to let me labor down for an hour because I had progressed so quickly. This is meant to prevent the baby doing a whole lot of damage to mom from having her too fast. So they put me on the peanut ball and we waited a little bit, and then it was time to push!
I thought as we started it would be maybe 10-15 minutes and we’d be meeting our baby girl! They turned the mirror toward me and I could see the top of her head. The mirror didn’t freak me out at all - both Andrew and I were fascinated. Medical stuff has never made me uneasy or nauseous. Unfortunately, my doctor was right about the narrow hips AND (as we would find out later) Lily’s head was in the 99th percentile. Ha! I pushed for over two hours and still no baby. I was getting really tired and worried, and my neck was killing me as they had me pulling up on the bars. Picture doing sit-ups for two hours. While 40 weeks pregnant. Andrew was the best “coach” though and counted me through each contraction, helping hold my head up. My doctor kept telling me that she was going to deliver another baby and she’d be back. I think she delivered like five other babies in the time it took for Lily to be born!
Finally, after two and a half hours, she came in for the fifth or sixth time and gave me the option of a C-section or the forceps. I definitely wanted to avoid a C-section as I heard they could be not fun to recover from, so I chose the forceps. I was a forceps baby myself (Lil obviously has my head) and I was okay, so I went with that and I am glad I did. At this point I was also extra glad I had chosen to have an epidural. My doctor was amazing at the forceps and Lily was born in the next contraction at 7:20 pm with absolutely no marks on her head from them. They immediately put her on my chest. Her little hands were clasped, almost like she was praying (she probably WAS praying the whole time, like, “Get me out of here, Mom!”) and she was looking up at me the whole time they cleaned her off. I will cherish that image of her in my mind until the day I die.
I don’t remember anything after that, except the part where they massaged my stomach. That part sucked, even with the epidural. They had some trouble getting me to stop bleeding, but after a shot of what I think was called methergine, the bleeding slowed enough to where they were comfortable leaving me alone to hold my baby. I was so focused on my Lily and honestly so emotional that I just don’t remember what happened after she came out!
Lily’s birth is one of the best things that has ever happened to me, even though I had no idea what we were in for the next several weeks, which will be my next post. (Studying to get my LPC has been the biggest blessing in recognizing a postpartum disorder in myself).
We love our little girl!
To all my nurse friends, you guys are amazing. The nurses at the Birth Care Center and in the Special Care unit at Wesley took such amazing care of us. Special shout out to my friend Charlee who hooked me up with ice packs (LOL). You da real MVP, girl! And to Alicia for getting Lily some little extras and making sure she was well taken care of while she was in the hospital! From the nurses who walked me through labor and delivery, to the sweet, gracious nurse who helped me to the bathroom and cleaned me up like it was nothing after Lily was born, to the nurses in Special Care who helped me through my many tearful breakdowns - you guys rock. And to the doctors, I can’t imagine the hours you guys work and I am so grateful for the compassion shown to us as we walked through being new parents.
Lily Mae Lehr
Born 3/2/2019 at 7:20 pm
8 lbs 5 oz, 20 inches long
For it was you who created my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wondrously made. Your works are wondrous, and I know this very well. My bones were not hidden from you when I was made in secret, when I was formed in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in your book and planned before a single one of them began.
God, how precious your thoughts are to me; how vast their sum is! If I counted them, they would outnumber the grains of sand; when I wake up, I am still with you.
-Psalm 139:13-18
